Opposites Attract

Today’s image has absolutely nothing to do with my advice but I figured a dove and a monkey must view the world differently, right? One of the greatest things about having friends with very different personality types, is that it helps you see that there isn’t one way to view the world or approach situations. When you get stuck in a rut, are unhappy or stressed, nothing is more of a relief than seeing the world through a different personality’s eyes. It opens up your own to seeing that you don’t have to stay in your unhappy rut.

A Little TOO Alike

Like with like personality friendships makes sense because you get each other and can finish each other’s sentences half of the time. But, these friendships are not all sunshine, gumdrops and rainbows. The drawbacks? Say for example when two stubborn Smart Structures (NTJs) are angry with each other. Whoa nelly. Now, there’s an impasse that can be impossible to break through. 

Peas in a Pod

I have a running joke that as an adult the only close friends I’ve made are the same personality type as me, Classic Freedom (SFJ). Oh, I go out on a limb every once in a while and pick up an Organic Structure (NFJ) or a Classic Structure (STJ) but in general, I could count on one hand the amount of friends I have with extremely different personality type. Heck, I even married someone with essentially the same personality type.

You Call That Tidy??

I’m a Classic Freedom (SFJ) and for the first 18 years of my life, I was surrounded by Ns — an Organic Structure (NFJ), a Smart Structure (NTJ) and two Organic Freedoms (NFP) siblings. What frustrated me most about being an alien “S” in their “N” enclave, beyond the fact that they voraciously read like rabbits and I read slower than a turtle, was their lack of attention to DETAIL. Now, here is where I actually have an easier time with my in-laws than my own family because they’re more of an “S” enclave.

To Plan or Not To Plan

I feel like the world is divided into two camps: Planners and non Planners. I’m in the former camp and non Planners drive me crazy. But, I’ve found with my own family and in-laws that in dealing with these different approaches to scheduling and time, a little bit of humor and understanding goes a LONG way to greasing the wheels of family harmony. 

You Say Tomato, I Say Fudge You

If I had a dollar for every time a a simple miscommunication amongst in-laws created mountains out of molehills, I’d be wealthier than Warren Buffett. One of the biggest culprits behind these types of miscommunications is how each of us makes decisions. Some of us are Thinkers – make most decisions based on logic — and some of us are Feelers — make most decisions based on subjective criteria. Familial miscommunication is universal but it gets magnified with in-laws because you’re not as familiar with each other as you are with family members you’ve been interacting with for 20+ years.

Inside voices … OUTSIDES VOICES

Rather than break in-law relationship week up by personality type — let’s face it, there’s no one perfect type to have as an in-law — I decided I’d address the biggest problems people face with various in-laws and which types are most likely to take umbrage to certain personality traits. First up, the gregarious, boisterous family versus the more reserved quiet family — a.k.a. Extroverts versus Introverts. Families like cultures often have overarching personality traits.

Happy President’s Day!

I’d say something patriotic and stirring but my well is completely dry.  I’ve been rather uninspired by all of our branches of government for a while and it’s been eons since the Executive Branch inspired me. Although I take that first comment back. The Supreme Court’s had a few good decisions recently but they’re not exactly the snazzy branch. So, I will end my depressing tirade by giving thanks to the government for giving so many of us a three day weekend in the middle of the dreary part of winter.

All Types of Luvvahs

Today is essentially a personality luvvah cheat sheet. I feature some of the ways different personality types might really annoy certain types when thrown together. I say some for a reason because let’s face it, there isn’t enough room on the internet to summarize all of the myriad ways couples could possibly annoy each other.

Smart Luvvahs

I think pretty much every Smart I know thinks they’re perfect as is — thank you very much. Okay, that’s not fair, how about it would take most of the Smarts I know longer than other personality types to come up with their own shortcomings in relationships. It’s not to say Smarts are not introspective, they are. It’s just that when it comes to relationships, what is top of mind is what other people do to annoy them versus what they do to annoy others.