How to Put Clothes IN a Hamper

Dear K&K: How do I get my husband to put his clothes in a hamper. I think he’s a Classic Freedom based on the description on your website. He always puts his clothes on top of hamper or folds them neatly at the foot of our bed in our bedroom. It drives me crazy because it’s not that difficult. Or am I crazy?? Signed: Hampered by a hamper

Dear Hampered: Easy … and we are not trying to be glib … remove the lid from your hamper. You’d be surprised how much that one extra step hampers clothes going into a hamper. That’s step one. Now, if you’re in the market for a new hamper, get no lid hampers such as these Pehr bins. If that doesn’t do the trick? Then take his clothes and put them back in his drawers. Or, do as Kelly started doing when her husband does something similar which is to put those carefully folded clothes IN the hamper. She’s still waiting for him to notice and yell at her but hasn’t happened yet. All our best: Katie & Kelly

 

How to Compromise on Family Pets

81f4q3o182l-_sl1500_Dear K & K: My husband wants to get a cat. I don’t. I’m not a fan of the indoor litter box, detest the idea of scratched upholstery with hair and frankly, am not a huge cat lover. We’re at loggerheads over here, and thought some Pixie Magic might help. Signed: Loggerheads in Louisiana.

Dear Loggerheards: First and foremost, you need to find a compromise you can live with AND stay married. Katie’s husband, Walter, wanted cats and she didn’t. She now has two cats. Similarly, Kelly wanted a dog but her husband, Fred, didn’t. He now has a dog. Loggerheads break on the shoals of the “weaker” link.

We don’t mean to disparage either of you. By weaker, we mean, okay, weaker BUT weaker argument not person. For example, we both have pets now, despite different stances, because we each found a realistic compromise by getting to the root of the real impediment and the other’s real desire for a pet. For Fred, it was daily dog walks, for Katie, it was shredded upholstery whereas for Kelly and Walter, it was a childhood pet for their kids. As Kelly and Walter’s reason was stronger than Katie and Fred’s impediments, and we were all willing to compromise, pets materialized in our lives. The compromises? Fred doesn’t walks the dog unless Kelly has a fever and Katie’s cats live on one floor of their house.

Most importantly, here are some ideas for you to break your loggerheads. First, get a hidden litter box that’s in a room or bathroom you don’t use. There’s a cool undersink one at Wayfair. Second, if it’s shredded furniture, consider an invisible fence. Use them to keep pets out of certain areas of the home or inside a yard.  Finally, ask him why he needs a pet. Maybe you could get a different kind of pet or there is another solution entirely. Good Luck! K&K

Best Ways to Store Mail and Bills

81ue9crwsjl-_sl1500_Dear Katie & Kelly: My husband and I disagree about where to store our mail. I have always kept it on our kitchen room table because our entranceway doesn’t have room for an entryway table. But, my husband often takes this pile and hides it away behind a nearby cabinet. It’s driving me crazy. Any suggestions? Signed: Maelstrom in Massachusetts 

Dear Maelstrom: We have two clients who had this exact problem. It’s not uncommon when one of you is a Classic and one of you isn’t. Classics need to have messy piles like mail or bills hidden away or at a minimum tidy and in an appropriate home. A place for everything and everything in its place. Our favorite compromise solution for entryway clutter are acrylic wall bins. Either on the wall in the entryway or on the inside of the nearest closet or cabinet door. The former sounds like it’s a better compromise for you since it sounds like the hiding away aspect is what is annoying you. Acrylic ones are key so that the pile of mail, bills or whatever pressing items you want out in a pile are still visible to you. All our best: Katie & Kelly

How to Wow on Christmas Gifts

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Illustration available at BreckWorks on Etsy

Dear Katie & Kelly,

My wife insists that I buy her gifts every year that she has specifically requested because she hates being disappointed when I don’t get her the right thing. So I gave up years ago and buy her what she wants. Great. Everybody is happy. Trouble is, the other day she complained that I never buy her gifts from the heart anymore. It seems that I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

Any advice?

Signed,

Aggravated in Annapolis

 

Dear Aggravated,

You are ALMOST damned either way … but not quite. If someone asks for a specific gift you would be a fool not to get it for them if you want to make them happy. BUT, nobody minds a little bit of extra sparkle or effort after they’ve received everything they want. Now, don’t get us wrong, she could still easily return or not like whatever extra gift you get her. But the way to have more hits than misses is to take note of where she likes to shop whether a boutique or a catalog — seriously write it down somewhere you will be able to refer to frequently — and pick something from there. This goes for any gift, wherever someone is naturally drawn to purchase things for themselves is bound to have other things they’ll like. Another way to get it right is to use a personal shopper or a stylist.

Happy Shopping!

Katie & Kelly

Harmony Versus Agony

pixie drawing couple in woods

Dear Katie & Kelly,

When your boyfriend says or does something that’s annoying but innocuous. How do you know when to complain and when to shut-up?

Signed,

Wondering in Witchita

 

Dear Wondering,

It depends. We know that’s a super annoying answer but it does. It depends on who you are and who your boyfriend is. Some Extroverts can’t help but immediately share their opinion and vice versa for Introverts. Although if it keeps happening, an Introvert will likely share their opinion as well. It also depends on how you make decisions about sharing information with others. There are those that tell it like it is consequences of what they say (and how they say it) be damned, there are those that sugar coat everything, and then there are those who decide to hold it inside for the sake of harmony but suffer quiet agony repeatedly doing so.

Our advice is to do what comes naturally to you and you’ll know you’re with the right person when your instinctive reactions don’t annoy the heck out of your boyfriend.

All our best,

Katie & Kelly

Dealing with Subpar Accommodations

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Dear Katie & Kelly,

I’m headed to a wedding that’s taking place at a former kids sleep-away camp and guests are expected to stay there as well. My wife thinks this is going to be fantastic fun full of rustic charm but I don’t share her enthusiasm; rustic charm is a euphemism for worn out and dirty. I want to stay an hour away at the closest decent hotel but my wife is adamant that we need to stay at the camp. She’s an extroverted Classic Freedom and I’m a introverted Fun Structure. Any ideas on how to convince her?

Sincerely,

Camped Out in Canton, Ohio

 

Dear Camped Out,

Pack that hand sanitizer because you’re never going to budge an extroverted Classic Freedom when it comes to protocol, manners, and socializing. Staying that far away signals to everyone JUST what you think of their camping accommodations. This is fine for a logical bloke like yourself but not something a more subjective Classic Freedom can swallow. So accept your fate and do what my fastidious Fun brother-in-law does when forced to stay in subpar accommodations … bring your own sheets and towels.

Enjoy the wedding??

Katie & Kelly

No Digits for the Doorman

Dear Katie & Kelly,

I’m an Organic Structure in my twenties and in a bit of a quandary. The nighttime doorman in the building where I work keeps asking me for my number. He says he wants to invite me to one of his fashion shows he does from time to time at his school. I usually just pretend I didn’t hear him and run to the elevator but what do I do if he presses me? I am not interested in him, I’m just nice to him because I feel sorry for him.

Sincerely,

Unsure on the Upper East Side

 

Dear Unsure,

Umm, seriously? Tell him your boyfriend wouldn’t be too keen on you giving out your number. We’ve no idea if you have one but that doesn’t matter, half the reason to bother with a boyfriend in your twenties is to ward off losers. As an Organic Structure, you are super sweet by nature and don’t easily think of devious solutions like lying to him Also, if he’s throwing fashion shows at school, our guess is that he’s not interested in you in “that way” so you’re probably safe giving it to him and maybe even getting free, cool clothes one day.

All our best,

Katie & Kelly