Dear Katie & Kelly

Death & Etiquette Matter


Dear Katie & Kelly,

My friend’s dad just died. There’s a wake on Friday night and then funeral on Saturday. I didn’t know him very well. Do I go to both or one? What’s considered polite?


Mourning in Missori


Dear Mourning,

It’s not really about being polite. It’s also not necessarily about how well you knew the man. It’s about supporting your friend. Do what you can and what you have the time to do. Funerals are not planned so sometimes you can’t make them or the events surrounding them. Kelly will always feel sad that she missed her best friend’s mom’s funeral because she’d booked a non refundable trip to Buenos Aires with her husband and another couple. Do your best to be there for them. If you can’t attend services in anyway, make sure you send your friend a condolence note. In addition, check up on them periodically because sometimes it takes a long time to get over a loss as big as losing your dad.

Our condolences to your friend,

Katie & Kelly

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