Inside voices … OUTSIDES VOICES

Rather than break in-law relationship week up by personality type — let’s face it, there’s no one perfect type to have as an in-law — I decided I’d address the biggest problems people face with various in-laws and which types are most likely to take umbrage to certain personality traits. First up, the gregarious, boisterous family versus the more reserved quiet family — a.k.a. Extroverts versus Introverts. Families like cultures often have overarching personality traits.

Growing up, I never questioned why we continued to vacation every year with our family friends the McNamaras. Obviously, a lot goes into why some families vacation well together or not but I’d say one of the key reasons it’s worked so well for so long is that the McNamaras are a gregarious, boisterous family and the McMenamins are more reserved and quiet — bookish if you will. It’s kind of a beautifully balanced yin and yang.

The problem for an in-law coming into either family is if they’re not used to one level of energy versus the other. A life of the party Extrovert by nature is going to have a tougher time adjusting to the reserved Introverted McMenamins than to say the McNamaras. The Extrovert might complain about how excruciatingly boring it is to spend the weekend with their introverted in-laws and vice versa an Introvert might complain about how exhausted they are by hanging out with their extroverted in-laws. It doesn’t mean an Extrovert will never find their niche within introverted in-law family, it’s just going to take more time than it would for an Introvert to do the same.