Kids, Personality Type, and Gift Buying

Personally, I think the only advice one needs to give people in what to buy kids for the holidays is to suggest they watch A Christmas Story and be done with it—meaning, kids will always want dangerous, ugly, crappy, brightly colored, plastic, or dangerous toys, ie. “A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time” and adults will always believe that such toys are ugly, crappy, noisy and will ultimately “shoot your eye out.” As if we, the helicopter parenting generation will somehow prevail where countless others have failed before us and somehow our children will miraculously be content with light colored wood toys, teddy bears, clothes and moodily illustrated picture books. But let’s face it: the only eyes that will be shot out during this holiday season and for all time ever after are the adults’ eyes, ears and pockets to the blinding cacophony that is the children’s toy industry, and the hungry mini-consumers who demand it.

But I digress. When Kelly and I were discussing today’s tip, she made one suggestion, which was, of course, typical of her Classic Freedom (SFJ) personality type—perhaps people should take into consideration the personality type of the parents. Hmm. Perhaps. If you want to be known as the lame parents, Aunts, Uncles, Godparents, etc. who get gifts that are thrown aside before they even see what’s in the box. Or even worse, the pink bunny suit Ralphie’s forced to put on. I’m sort of kidding, but I’m an Organic Freedom (NFP) almost by default the fun Aunt, Uncle, Godparent, etc. who lets her children play with her make-up and jewelry without worry and even I was worried about my baby’s eyes being shot out come that first Christmas morning.

As an Organic (NF), I’m an idealist. Meaning I’m always hoping for an ideal that usually doesn’t exist in reality. As a young parent I was hopeful that I could surround my children with sophisticated toys made by cutting-edge designers out of soothing birch colored wood, and my home would still be attractive even if it was cluttered with toys. But, of course, some well-meaning friend, Aunt or Uncle gave them a bright multi-colored hideous thing that made a noise almost designed to inspire homicide, and that toy, by default or Murphy’s Law, is what my kid liked the most, and it became the first drop in the biggest bucket of brightly colored lead filled plastic made in China.

But as I said, I’m an idealist. A couple of years ago I got sick of the hideous, three story, falling apart pink Barbie townhouse littering up my living room, but I loved being able to write in the next room while I listened to them play. So, I attempted to class up the joint and bought and assembled this really cool modern doll house that was ten times bigger than I thought it would be, and that my kids barely noticed on Christmas morning. Luckily their father bought them all the bright pink, ugly Barbie crap they know and love and I quickly relegated it to their bedrooms and gave up trying to give them what I wanted. Kids want crap with a thing that tells time, end of story.

But then something miraculous happened. After the hangover of the holiday season wore off, I was busy writing a PixieTip and I heard those sweet little voices playing in the next room. Of course they’d brought their ugly Polly Pockets and oversized (for the doll house) Barbies, but they were playing, with what could arguably be called a sophisticated toy made by a cutting-edge designer. Just didn’t come with matching dolls. A couple of Christmases later I bought them some regular doll house dolls that are better sized and less ugly than bright plastic versions, and while I still have to occasionally clear out the plastic they always tend to drag in, by and large I have what could even be called art sitting in my living room that my children play with every week. Idealism realized.

So when our Organic Structure parents, Nina Coslov and Tara Keppler at our featured blog, Food for Thoughtful Parenting —hello, idealists with a plan!—offered to share with us their gift idea list compiled from a survey of their readers best tested kids’ gifts, we were overjoyed. Classic Freedom Kelly was excited by the prospect of a nice structured and orderly list, and Organic Freedom Katie loved the idealism inherent in trying once again to grow our children’s wants beyond what has now come to symbolize for her a big round ball of brightly colored plastic crap toys.

Really, because these two are so organized and idealistic and have already finished their book, Food for Thoughtful Parenting, we acquiesce almost all great kid gift ideas to them. In their blog they also cover everything you could possibly think of, ways to “themify” gifts for Chanukah, ways to give “experience” gifts, and ways to avoid, as best as you can, all the plastic, brightly colored junk that stocks the aisles this holiday season. So here is their penultimate gift list from their readers of all the toys, books and DVDs that got the most use from the kids who got them. They also remind us that even with all these great ideas about traditions and family experiences, kids are still kids and at the end of the day they’re still going to want all that bright shiny stuff, even if, frankly, they’ll end up playing with anything.

So, our main suggestion today is to take heed to ALL of this advice and then also be sure to buy the children in your life the one thing with which they are most obsessed, (within your reasonable financial consraints, of course, my Classics and Funs) even if it’s a “A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time” even if you worry that it will shoot their eye out, (my Organic worriers) because all they’ll remember is the pink and shining brightly colored glow of the holidays—and the feeling of being loved and taken care of, because they got exactly what they wanted, and after it has broken, they’ll have the real stuff leftover that will last a lifetime.