Opposites Attract

Today’s image has absolutely nothing to do with my advice but I figured a dove and a monkey must view the world differently, right? One of the greatest things about having friends with very different personality types, is that it helps you see that there isn’t one way to view the world or approach situations. When you get stuck in a rut, are unhappy or stressed, nothing is more of a relief than seeing the world through a different personality’s eyes. It opens up your own to seeing that you don’t have to stay in your unhappy rut.

As a Classic Freedom (SFJ), I find the most calming influences on me are Smarts (NTs) because they really don’t sweat the small stuff and remind you that when you look at life from 30,000 feet, it’s never really that bad. Plus they’ll almost always use logic to dispell whatever worry or fear I have. There’s often something quite calming about logic and since it’s not my go to tool when I’m in a state of worry, it’s great to have a Smart on my side to hand me that tool.

When I’m stressed out or in a worried state, sometimes the worst person to talk to is someone like myself because often they’ll just reaffirm my anxieties. There are times when I share my worst, crazy fears with my Classic Freedom husband and he will say, “Don’t worry that won’t happen,” which just doesn’t cut it if you’re in some illogical, crazy state of worry. Plus, we often worry about the same things so there are times he can’t tell me not to worry because he’s worrying about the same exact thing!

Beyond soothing frayed nerves, friends with different personality types can also help you realize that your way isn’t the only way. These types of friendships frequently give you a first hand illustration of how people can handle the same situation two different ways yet achieve the same results. This is powerful information because often one of the ways is easier and you might’ve been doing things the hard way because it came more naturally to you. But, in seeing the easier way, you can learn over time how to do it.

Let’s say two salesmen try to get new clients for their firm.  One the Extrovert makes a dozen calls and gets 6 leads. The other an Introvert writes 20 personalized emails and gets 6 leads. Different approaches that fit their personality preference for how they direct their energy but arguably, statistically speaking, the Extroverts way is more efficient.  Perhaps they’re friends and share their approaches with each other. Over time, the Introvert might find that he’s more inclined to try his extroverted friend’s approach because it’s too time consuming to write 20 individualize emails.

Having people in my life with divergent personality types makes me a better, more interesting — and relaxed — person. I liken it to the benefit of having friends from a foreign culture. It helps you be less insular, to flex your non-preferances and realize there’s more than one way to intereact with the world and view life.