To: Becca and Katie

From: Kelly

Subject: Patrick's birthday bbq

I'll arrive at 5:30ish so grilling at 6:30/7ish works for me as does dinner around 7:30ish. We should be out of your hair by 9:30ish!

I was using "ish" to show that I didn't want to impose some scary schedule on the rest of my family for such a casual get together — my siblings are all Ps meaning their schedules are always more flexible than mine. My use of "ish" is very specific — as it is likely to be for all Classics (SJ). I do it to give myself 5-15 minutes of breathing time for mistakes or any other hold-ups. But, when you're dealing with Ps, even if I give a definitive time, 7:30, more than half the time, they'll read it and mentally add my definition of "ish" automatically. Therefore, when a P is putting "ish" behind a time then it's a clue to you that the timing is REALLY flexible. It signals to all of the J's out there that the evening is not going to be a military operation.

And our evening wasn't anything like a military operation, or if it was, it was about successful as the Bay of Pigs. I got there around 6:30ish not 5:30ish due to traffic and rain. Then my trusted lieutenant forgot the English muffins for my haute cuisine burger recipe, I burnt the sweet potato fries and we ate about oh 9ish hundred hours. To a Classic like me, planning to eat at 7:30, 9ish = failure.

None of the Ps seemed to mind though. I marvel at how they can so naturally adapt to whatever happens to knock you off course whereas I tie myself into a frayed knot, have a slight mental breakdown and THEN adapt to the new course without a care in the world. If only I could learn to get to A from B without the breakdown. Perhaps this is why some people take valum.

First, immediately upon reading the email below, I knew Mrs. Bourne was one of two personality types. Due to her interest with manners, tradition and protocol, I'd say she's a Classic like me or possibly a Smart who had a martini or three before writing and sending it. In addition, the sharpness of her tongue and seeming inability to hold said tongue means she's likely an extraverted Classic Structure or extraverted Smart Structure. But, I don't want to malign entire personality types and I'm betting there's some "other stuff" going on with Mrs. Bourne beyond personality type differences.

On first blush, Mrs. Bourne seems to have a point that Heidi lacks some basic manners — helping oneself to seconds as a guest in someone's home, neglecting to write thank you notes — but this all belies the fact that Mrs. Bourne is breaking an even more fundamental manners' rule of thumb by writing the email in the first place. Isn't it a well known fact amongst all well mannered citizens of the world that when you point out someone else's lack of manners you point out your lack thereof?

I will not even go into Mrs. Bourne's tirade about Heidi's diabetes. Baffling. Read the text below and then my final two cents of advice to both ladies.

Text courtesy of Digital Spy

from: Carolyn Bourne

to: heidi withers

subject: your lack of manners

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

I am being kept awake - or woken early - by Edward [Freddie's father] who is so profoundly upset by your behavior on your recent visit that he is depressed and anxious.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so. Your behavior on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace. Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you. If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series. Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.

[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic. I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition. She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.

As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example. You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.

No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behavior.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.) If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Carolyn must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

My advice to Heidi is a bit American a.k.a. Celebrity Style behavior. Hire a lawyer and get a pre-nuptial agreement that pays you $10,000 for each forced visit with Mrs. Carolyn Bourne, $500/hour for every hour beyond the first and time and a half for any visit that lasts longer than 8 hours. This way, you can relax during the wedding ceremony knowing that Mrs. Bourne's presence is paying for the caterer.

My advice to Mrs. Bourne is to remember the cardinal rule of manners — if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

As Carolyn seems a stickler for etiquette and all things traditional including manners, I'm guessing she's a Classic or a Smart and given the sharpness of her tongue and her inability to hold it, I'm guessing she's either an extraverted Classic Structure or Smart Structure.

I found the note rather ironic given the subject matter. Heidi does seem to be unaware of some basic manners — helping oneself to seconds in another person's home, forgetting to write a thank you note after staying at her future in-laws — but then she goes on to rant about Heidi's diabetes and completely loses me. This brings me to my main beef with the note. Isn't it known amongst the entire world of well mannered laymen that when you point out someone's lack of manners, you immediately demonstrate your lack thereof? Clearly, Carolyn tired of talking behind Heidi's back and lacks the type of grace it would require to sit down with her future daughter-in-law, face to face, to discuss some of the problems she is having with her behavior.

Email text:

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.

It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.

Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.

There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.

[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.

I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition.

She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.

As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.

You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.

No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

My advice to Heidi is highly American a.k.a. "Celebrity Style" ... hire a lawyer and get a pre-nuptial agreement that guarantees you more money the longer you stay in the Bourne family with a payment clause for everytime you have to be in in the presence of Mrs. Carolyn Bourne. Perhaps $1000 for each visit regardless of length, $200/hour for any visit over an hour, and then time and a half for any visit over 8 hours. It'll make it so much easier to swallow having Mrs. Bourne at the wedding because by evening's end, Heidi will have already paid for a portion of the castle's caterers.

My advice to Mrs. Bourne is when you're upset and tempted to write an email of this nature — don't. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Apparently, she missed that manners lesson growing up.

Two good knives: A sharp chef's knife and a bread knife. The first cuts anything and the second cuts tomatoes like nobody's business. Oh yeah, and bread too.

Salad dressing container: Nothing makes a meal more authentic and delicious than a salad with homemade dressing. It's beyond easy to make a vinagrette so there's really no excuse for using store bought dressing. Williams-Sonoma actually has a cool container that helps you make dressing, stir it, and store it. It's called the Chef'N Salad Dressng Emulsifier and my friend Wren swears by it.

Plastic cutting boards: I used to have one all purpose cutting board but I knew it wasn't the most brilliant idea to cut raw chicken on the same surface as I cut crudites. So, I bought a set of 4 super thin cutting boards with images of what you're supposed to cut on them — ensuring even my husband would know which board to use. Now I no longer worry about giving myself or guests Salmonella poisoning.

Lemon reamer and a pitcher: Doesn't everybody own a lemon reamer? They make creating juice for recipes and drinks really easy. I don't know a soul who turns down freshly squeezed lemonade. All summer long I keep a large bunch of lemons on hand and make lemonade at will. The trick is to muddle the sugar with one sliced lemon.

And last but not least, Burn Jel. I feel like it makes any burn go away but great to have on hand near your stove or the grill all summer long.

Tide To Go Instant Stain Remover: I think I buy a new one everytime I go to the drugstore just to make sure I've a ready supply. They dry out. And if you don't own multiples of these by now then you clearly have never witnessed it make blackberry stains disappear from white pants. The only thing it does a lame job on is red wine.

Dermalogica SPF Wipes: The first time I learned about individual SPF wipes was while vacationaing in Buenos Aires in January — height of their summer. My sister-in-law brought some and I borrowed them when out and about during our sun soaked urban vacation. They are the ultimate handy summer must-have — no mess or worry that the bottle will spill. My only warning is that you need to make sure you wipe ALL over or you'll get one funny looking tan/burn that will take you 2 years to undo.

EOS Lip Balm: Ever since my friend Hilary started a natural cosmetics company I've become so much aware of all the chemicals that exist in things I put on my body multiple times per day. Our intern, Kristin, turned me on to this lip balm. It's free of basically any evil thing we're supposed to avoid. Also, I like that it's a different shape so if I throw it in my purse I can easily find it when fishing around in there.

Evian mineral water spray—travel size: This always seemed so superfluous and decadent to me as a pragmatic Classic. But I know so many make-up artists — people whose job it is to make people look fantastic at all times — who use it that I figured there was probably some merit to the product. And there is. It refreshes you AND your make-up so it's quite practical really.

Burn Jel Packet: I mentioned this product last week. It rocks for burns but I don't keep it in my purse for the same reason it's in my medicine cabinet. Burn Jel has a few ingredients one of which is Tea Tree Oil which has antiseptic, antibaterial, antifunfal and antiviral medical qualites so it's kind of my all-in one packet for almost anything.

But as I type, I realize that's not fair to simply blame my behavior on having produced progeny. Long before I had my son, I prided myself in always having every solution to any problem on hand — be it in my medicine cabinet, kitchen or my purse. It's just who I am as a Classic. It's probably why I titled myself "Chief Problem Solver" when my sister and I started PixiesDidIt! — she's "Chief Vision Dreamer" for a reason but that's a story for another day.

I thought I'd shared four of my newest must-haves. Since some of them are relatively new to me, I thought other Classics a.k.a. Problem Solvers might add them to their repertoire of ripostes to life's frequent jabs and crises.  

Burn Jel: A friend of mine gave me a few samples of this stuff and it sat untouched for a few weeks until I idiotically tried to clean my stove after having just cooked dinner on it. I immediately ran my burned hand under cold water but knew it was too late. Then I remembered the Burn Jel in the cabinet. I put it on and forgot all about the burn. I figured it must've been a minor burn until I did the SAME thing to my hand only worse a few weeks later and voila, no pain and no burn. I was pretty amazed. They've got travel size packets for your purse.

Benadryl Spray: This is essential when you're married to someone who attracts mosquitoes like flies to ... one of those bug zappers. One would think if this were you, you'd wear Off! all of the time but Off! is what my husband thinks of after a mosquito bites him. Benadryl Spray to the rescue. They also have a travel size one, which is much more handy for when your husband is whining at an outdoor summer BBQ.

Imodium AD chewable tablets: I like to have these on hand in each of my bathrooms so that guests don't have to suffer in silence or sheepishly ask me for help. Plus, as mean as this sounds, who really wants to know someone needs that sort of help?  It falls under the category of TMI in my book. Also a good bet are Pepto-Bismol tablets in packets. you can carry these with you and even kids can have them.

Rubbing Alcohol Swabs: I keep rubbing alcohol on hand in my medicine cabinet because it's a staple. But man oh man is there something better — those little alcohol swab packets that you usually see in doctor's office to clean the skin before they draw blood or give you a shot. They are SO handy. You can use them to clean your computer, TV, sunglasses and in a pinch a small cut. I'd advise Bactine for the latter because it lacks the sting. Plus you can put a packet in your purse. Who needs a big bottle of Purel when you can just throw a few of these into your bag?

She gave very precise tips concerning handling the eggs that a neophyte Classic cook like me desperately needs. Her tip to separate eggs when cold but to bring egg whites to room temperature and re-refrigerate the yolks so they don't break while you're adding them to the soufflé mixture was genius. Then she told her readers to stop beating the egg white when there were soft peaks formed. Without that tip I would've beaten them until they were stiff. Something she said ruins a soufflé. It's those types of tips or lack thereof that usually make my version of a recipe a bit subpar. 

Ms. Monaghan featured three recipes: Cheese Soufflé with Garlic & Fresh Herbs, Classic Spinach Soufflé, Classic Chocolate Soufflé. Each serves 8. Click Here for her tips and recipes. I made the Cheese Soufflé with Garlic & Fresh Herbs. It was divine. I couldn't believe that I had made it. It was worthy of Le Bernardin, seriously. Naturally, since there was no meat in it, so my husband was underwhelmed and I felt like popping him in the face because I'd spent 2 hours prepping and cooking. Thankfully my babysitter ate one of the deflated leftovers the next day and pronounced it super delicious. My efforts were not completely in vain.

This brings me to the tough part about making a soufflé. If you follow Ms. Monaghan's recipes and tips, it's possible to make exquisite soufflés, they just take a LONG time to prepare. I can't imagine having made it for a dinner party where I was also entertaining people simultaneously. You have to be hyperfocused when making a soufflé. So, my tips for aspiring souffléistas like myself are as follows:

1. Start small. Halve these recipes when beginning.
2. Put bits of bacon in the savory ones when serving carniverous males.
3. Buy the exact size ramekins that she suggests.
4. Dessert soufflés are always going to be more of a crowd pleaser than savory.
5. Before serving it at a dinner party practice making it 2-3 times so you're not a stressed out basket case when preparing it.
6. Realistically, you should only make it for a dinner party if you've got a kitchen where you usually entertain right before serving your first course. But, then this rules out dessert soufflés unless your open kitchen is where you're also sitting down to dinner. 

I thought her best tip was that once you get very practiced at making soufflés, they're kind of like an omelette. You can mince and toss whatever you have on hand into the mix. My dream of being the nonchalant hostess is still alive even if it's still in it's infancy at 37!

You know you're a Classic when ...

1. You can't really, truly relax until the dishes are done.
2. You do (did) your homework first thing upon getting home from school—even in college.
3. You make your bed everyday unless you have pneumonia.
4. Your dream house is a Center Hall Colonial.
5. You have trouble concentrating if your office or house is messy.
6. You pick up toys that your kid drops at a Childrens museum even though there are people paid to do so.
7. You instinctively stash things—anything—away and out of site.
8. You insist that people put things back in their proper homes—is that too much to ask???
9. Your house is almost always tidy even if your closets are not perfect.
10. Your other dream house involves it being tidy with perfect closets and cabinets.
11. You apologize for your messy house only to be told "You're insane. It's perfect."
12. You stay at a job you're miserable in out of some unspoken loyalty to your boss/mentor/company.
13. You stay in grad school to "finish what you started" even though you hate it.
14. You have trouble thinking of a time or situation where you threw in the towel — notice a pattern??
15. Your ideal refrigerator is neater than a hotel mini-bar.
16. You feel awful when showing up late—even for social functions.
17. You are secretly offended when guests show up an hour+ late to your party without pre-warning you.
18. You always have things left to do on your To-Do list at day's end—and it bugs you.
19. You believe spontaneity is most fun when it's planned ahead of time.
20. You secretly know that your way is the best way even if others disagree.

I had a run in with a mean dad yesterday at Heckscher playground in Central Park and it got me thinking of my two decades long quandary as a Midwesterner living in the Northeast—Does the Northeast actually have more mean people per capita than the Midwest or does it just seems so because people are more densely packed in here and I bump into so many of them? 

While I do not wish to further malign the many nice people who live in the Northeast, you could push me over with a feather if you told me this guy grew-up anywhere in the Midwest—or Canada for that matter. Regardless of the geographic locale of his upbringing, he was your garden variety uptight, jerk who didn't have a proper childhood because he was oblivious to the well-known unwritten playground rules that everyone knows from having been kids once themselves.

Playround Rule #1: In playgrounds, sandboxes and pools, toys left laying around are fair game for kids. Everyone plays with everyone's toys until it's time to go home. It's easier and creates endless opportunities to discuss sharing and taking turns. Mistakes happen though and that's why moms put names things. 

As my two and a half year old son and I arrived at the playground for our usual late morning sandbox play, there was a neatly maintained, Thomas the Train backpack with a sippy cup on the outside pocket laying on the steps to the sandbox. Nobody was sitting near it. I wondered why someone would leave their bag in the path that children travel into and out of the sandbox but no biggie. My son is a Thomas aficionado so immediately he ran over to it while I got my iPhone out to make a few calls and get settled in to watch my son play.

I looked up to find my son had reached the bag, had a big toy train in hand and looked to be bartering with a girl for his cookies in exchange for the train. The backpack was zipped so I figured he couldn't have gotten it from there and thought it had simply been sitting out next to the backpack. Fair game. The little girl's mom came over to get Ted's cookies back to him and I asked her if the train was hers. She said no. I thought nothing of it given Rule #1, told Ted loudly that it wasn't his and we'd have to give it back when the owner wanted it back and sat back down to watch Ted play. I figured the parent would've spoken up if they'd had a problem with Ted playing with the train. 

Then as I dialed my phone, Thomas the backpack beckoned and Ted had grabbed the sippy cup from the outside pocket. As I was processing what he'd grabbed, a man bounded from across the super large sandbox (10-15 yards) to snatch it from my son's hands. He snapped, "I don't want any sand to get on the sippy cup!!" and bounded back to his son. I thought, "Well geeeeez, get some Purell and take a chill pill. You might want to keep your sippy cup inside the bag and maybe not leave it unattended 10 yards away if you're that obsessive over sand in a sandbox." Luckily, right before the guy came over, Ted had laid the sippy cup in the sand so the mean guy hadn't actually touched my son, which brings me to Rule #2. 

Rule #2: Never touch a stranger's child, NEVER. The only two exceptions are to prevent the child from physically hurting himself or someone else OR when the mother of the child gives a nod with her head that indicates, "I have my hands full. It's okay for your to touch my child." Even then, as a stranger touching a child, it's unwritten nice person code that if a kid is crying as you take a toy away or prevent him from hurting himself, you say, "I'm so sorry. We are leaving and have to take this toy." or  "I'm sorry. This is too dangerous for you." 

Soon after the sippy cup incident, the mean man's son noticed Ted was playing with his train and started toddling over with complaints that I eeked out to be "That's mine! Dad, a usurper has my locomotive. I want!" I saw this in slow motion and got up to get Ted's toys so I could more easily pry the train from his hands and transition to other toys. As I was turning to my carriage, I said, "Hold on a second!" and put my arm up in the air to indicate I was on top of this incident with my son as I turned my back to get toys. The man paid me no heed and literally ripped the train from my screaming son's hands to hand over to his son. This guy had SEVERELY broken Rule #2 and then Rule #1 in one swift action.

I said, "You did NOT have to do that I was trying to get toys." To which he replied, "You should be watching your child." I said, "You are not nice. You shouldn't be here." I grabbed my son's toys from the stroller as the other moms looked on in dismay at this man who'd broken the top two unwritten playground rules. I then swooped over to scoop up my son, gave him a hug and said, "I know sweetie. That was scary. He was a very, very mean man" loud enough for said mean man to hear. He left the sandpit for a bit instead of apologizing for his behavior. 

After I said "mean man," I laughed because I hadn't really used the adjective "mean" to describe anyone since I was 10 and had a nasty run-in with the mean girl down the block from me. I have no idea what her actual name was. She was just mean. The only through and through mean girl I knew. Like this guy.

My scuffle got me thinking about what the definition of mean is. Plenty of people say hurtful or mean things in their lifetime but it doesn't make everyone mean. So what earns someone the moniker of mean? Obviously, it's easy to define Osama Bin Laden as mean. Mass murderers easily fall into that moniker. Or frankly, the playground guy is easily defined as a mean person because he physically assaulted a 2-year old boy in sandbox over a toy train. I don't know a single person who isn't mean who could do that and not apologize immediately afterward. But, how to accurately define the not as obvious mean people in our midst?

I went to Merriam-Webster for the answer and her definition seemed to fit the bill. Mean: characterized by petty selfishness or malice. Causing trouble or bother. Intent to harass. It aptly describes the playground guy and a couple of the mean women I know—all born and bred in the Northeast—and frankly even Osama Bin Laden. Talk about harassment. 

The rest of my day was spent bumping into nice people. There was the NYPD Officer who helped carry my stroller to the Subway platform and then the NYPD officer who directed me to the nearest elevator when I reached my destination. A few people who held the door for me. And finally Mike's Tech Shop. Wow do they have nice employees. 

Ah, how I wished it were so as an awkward preteen. For that is when I wanted to marry Prince Edward, Queen Elizabeth's 4th child. Instead of Teen Beat, I read Majesty. I even drew a portrait of Edward and sent it to him — oh and maybe a drawing of Windsor castle too. If I hadn't been 11-12 years old — with matching level of artistic skills — I might have been put on some MI6 stalker list. Instead a kind Buckingham Palace secretary wrote me two thank you notes for my masterpieces. This phase of my life was probably just residual tripping from overdosing on royal weddings — Lady Diana Spencer's followed by Sarah Ferguson's. My wedding at Saint Thomas Church, NYCBut, it wasn't a completely vapid princess dream. There's something in my Classic conservative nature that was, and is, sucked in by Britain's ancient traditions and institutions. The same part of my nature that is in equal measure appalled by America's newness and general lack thereof.

In my daydream as Edward's fiancée, I knew my American heritage would raise eyebrows but I figured everybody would get over it since Edward was a bit of a throwaway — he was so far away in line to the throne that the prospect of a foreign usurper queen was dim. Plus, I figured me being American might actually get people interested in Edward since nobody seemed to pay much attention to him on either side of the pond. The American press would adore me and make up for whatever mean and horrible treatment I'd get in the British press.

When actual teenagedom hit, and I found flesh and blood boys much more fascinating than a stranger 10 years my senior living across the pond, I forgot about my dream. But, it would turn out to be significant that I'd I spent my formative girlish wedding dream years envisioning myself marrying Prince Edward in Westminster Abbey because I ended up getting married in as high church as is almost possible in the States. 

Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys-Jones now The Earl & Countess of WessexAfter my husband proposed, we didn't know what church we would marry in and were going to let proximity to the reception venue make the decision for us until we stumbled on the most beautiful church I'd ever seen in the US — Saint Thomas Church on 5th Avenue. We were en route to the Rainbow Room to check it out as a venue when I saw the church, walked in on a whim and and immediately knew this is where I was meant to marry. St. George's Chapel at WindsorIt wasn't Westminster Abbey and while certainly not in the same universe as Saint George's chapel at Windsor at least the same galaxy. I believe Saint George's is where Edward married his wife, Sophie Rhys-Jones — a beautiful woman but no me. Alas, if only Edward knew what a witty and clever American bird he could have had. Ah well, his loss is my husband's gain — most days.