Dear K & K: My young elementary school son has a crush on a girl but she doesn’t like him back. It’s really zapped him of his usual confidence. He wants to give her a birthday present even though he wasn’t invited to a party or anything. This is all new territory for me as a mom. Any advice you might impart to him (or me!?) on how to handle it when your feelings aren’t returned? Worried in Winnipeg.
Dear Worried: Our dad always says to us, “It’s shocking to hear the things you kids remember.” SO, knowing how much kids retain means you can plant some good seeds even when they’re young. This is the best time to lay the foundation for future relationships because they still listen to our advice!
Talk to him about your experiences with boys as a young girl — the good ones and the bad ones. Help him understand when to continue pursuing a girl and when to move on to something else (and why!). Kelly’s eight year old son was astonished to learn that girls feel embarrassed about this relationship stuff just like boys do.
We’d like to pretend that we came up with these great ideas on our own. But, Kelly read this great book called Raising Boys and its advice is worth its weight in gold. Good Luck! Katie & Kelly